My Pregnancy

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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Induction on Monday

Okay It's getting closer to the time and I am so anxious and worried about having a c-section, since inductions can sometimes lead there. Well I'm just worried about it because I really want to have her vaginally. I know that it will really bother me if I end up in that cold surgery room. But I'm still hopeful.
On Thursday my doctor told me I am dilated to a 3 and 80% effaced. He said I'm making very good progress. Then he tells me I better be good and not do anything this weekend because he is going to vegas for about a day and a half. He will be back Sunday. He loves taking vacations when I'm about to pop!! Me and brandon have to be at the hospital at 5:30AM. He is inducing two other women too that day. But they have to be there on sunday night. He said that I don't need to be there till monday morning since I'm progressing so well. But if I want to I can go in sunday night.
I'm getting everything ready and I'm getting more and more anxious. This has been a crazy ride. Pregnancy is something so amazing and emotional lol. I can't wait to look her in the eyes and hold my little girl for the first time. I mean I've only been waiting 9 months!! :)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Letter to Hazel

Dear, My little girl, Hazel

Well It’s five days away from my Induction Date (August 23) and It’s becoming more and more real everyday. I will really get to meet my little girl very soon. I am so excited to finally hold you in my arms. I can’t wait to hold your little hands and give you your first kisses. I have like five outfits for you to wear at the hospital. You have slippers and little bows for your hair. You are already so spoiled!

Hazel Lee will be your name. I don’t even know you yet but I do know that this name is completely perfect for you. Your dad loves the name, if I wanted to change it now he would never let me! We are giving you the middle name “Lee” because your daddy’s grandpa was named Robert Lee Shaner. Your dad was very close to him and loved him very much. I hear stories about him all the time but I never got the chance to meet him before he passed. I wish I could have, I see how much daddy loved him so much and people tell me what an amazing man he was. I also have a person that I cherish and love and her name is Norma Lee Squier. So I wanted to name you after her too. She is my grandma. She is so excited to meet you. She is the sweetest person in the world. Such a strong woman. She was paralyzed falling off a horse just months before I was born. So I have never been able to see her walk. She makes it seem like she is superwoman, she can do anything in that chair. She never complains the smallest bit about not being able to walk. She’s so caring, strong and loving. I wanted to name you after these two people because they are so important in me and your daddy’s lives that it would mean everything to them for you to pass on their names.

When I found out I was pregnant with you, I was scared and confused as what to do. I told your grandma, great grandma and daddy right away. Everyone was so supportive. So right then and there I knew everything would be okay because I had my family behind me. I told your grandpa two days after Christmas. I think he was scared for me and worried of what I was going to do. But he still supported what I wanted to do. We decided to keep you. There was no question about it that you were ours. And ours only.

Your daddy is twenty-one years old. From day one your daddy has been so excited. At times he got stressed about money and I think he was also scared about being a first time daddy. I think all men go through that. I understood so I tried as hard as I could to express to him that we could do it. He is an amazing person. He already expresses that he would do anything in the world to make you happy. From the beginning he knew that you were a girl. He wanted a girl so bad. He’s so excited to meet you and hold you in his arms. He is a perfect example of a real man. He works so hard and comes home with a smile on his face, gives me a kiss and asks, “How is my Hazel today?” I can’t express enough how much he already loves you. He always puts his arm around me and feels you kick. He talks to you and talks about all his future plans that he has for you. He wants to take you to the pet store the weekend after you are born and buy you your first pet, fishies! I guess we will see how me and you feel at that time!

Your dad has been working on your room for quite some time now. It is so beautiful. It’s exactly what I pictured for you. Green is me and daddy’s favorite color and pink is a girly color so I wanted your room to be pink and green. But it wasn’t enough just to paint it pink on two walls and green on the others. So I decided I wanted two walls to be pink and the other walls to be white with green stripes! It looks amazing. He did an awesome job! It took me awhile to pick out your bedding. I wanted something colorful but not too tacky looking. And I found the perfect one! It has butterflies, flowers, and snails on it. It’s so perfect. I also painted you some pictures that I have in your room too! I hope you love your room as much as I do!

I am nineteen years old and I am so excited to be a mommy to you. I love feeling you kick and hearing your heartbeat. My favorite thing throughout this pregnancy has been getting ultrasounds of you and having those first u/s pictures of you. We had a 4D one done but you were being very stubborn and wouldn’t let us get a good picture of your face. I know, you just want to surprise us. Your dad goes to all the appointments he can make. He loves seeing ultrasounds of you. When we found out you were a girl I really couldn’t believe it. I looked over at daddy and the grin on his face was priceless. I could tell how happy he truly was. You mean so much to me already. I’ve always wanted a little girl to dress up and have girly things in common with. I want you to know that I will always be here for you. No matter what you will always be my little girl. I want a lot of things for you in life but the number one thing is, I want you to be happy. If you feel like traveling, then travel. If you feel like taking on something that is so much bigger than you, I’ll be right there supporting you. If you want to be a star, I’ll be your biggest fan. I want you to get an education and work hard at everything you do. An education is very very important. Especially these days. You’ll find that when you put your heart into things, you get more out of it. Always show love to get love. Love people for who they are and those that don’t show love, teach them. Never hurt the ones you love. Be honest with yourself and other people. Life is very hard and it never gets any easier. So take things day by day. I just know that you are going to be so beautiful and so strong. Me and your daddy will always have your back in everything you do. My mom is my hero and I want to be yours. I was always very close to my mom. She is the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out. A mother and daughter bond is something so important. And nobody could ever replace my mommy. You are my everything, my love, my little girl. I love you Hazel Lee.



Had my Appointment, UPDATE

I had my Doctor's appointment on thursday and from the ultrasound she is measuring right on track! So wont be an absolutely huge baby after all! Haha well then I saw my doctor and he said he wants to induce me the 23rd. Thats five days away! I'm very worried about getting induced and kind of bummed. I wanted to go on my own. I still have five days so I could still go into labor so I've been doing everything possible to get labor going..nothing really has been successful. I just want the full experience of my water breaking. I'm also worried about ending up in a C-section. I would just be so upset if I wasn't able to deliver her vaginally. BUT I'm still hopeful that everything will be okay! So I have another doc appointment tomorrow and I hope my cervix has progressed a little! This will be my last doctors appointment! So exciting and sad all at the same time. I cant wait to finally meet her. I've been daydreaming about that day for a long long time now. So 5 more days till my induction! :)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Well my doctor is now back so im getting anxious to have this little girl. I was having contractions last night but they quit. :( I have been cleaning and getting this house all ready for her to come. :) I'm so excited to meet my little girl. She's going to be so beautiful! I have my bag packed for the hospital and im bringing some jolly ranchers to suck on while i'm in labor, yummy! Me and my mom went to this little shop that sells kid clothes that people give when they don't want to use them anymore. There is a section where there is clothes that still have the tags on them an have never been worn! And to top that they are like 2 dollars or under! So we picked out an outfit and I got some bows and headbands with big flowers on them for Hazel :) They are soooo cute. It's going to be like my new favorite place to shop for Hazel's little outfits!
I have a doctors appt on thursday and im having an ultrasound to see how big she is and I see my doctor too. My mom thinks he is going to be concerned with how big I'm measuring because at the last appt (he was out of town so I had a diff doc) I was measuring at 41 weeks and I was only 36. And i was also 2cm dilated and 75% effaced. So she thinks he is going to want me to come into the hospital and break my water to get labor going. But I dont know, we will see on thursday! If I make it till then!!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

36 Weeks :)

So today I am 36 weeks!

Ive been having really bad cramps for a few days but they are really low and they aren't too painful. And they aren't repetitive so they probably are just Braxton hicks contractions. My doctor is out of town so I really don't want her to come this week because I really want my doctor to be there :) Brandon would feel so uncomfortable if a different doctor, that he doesnt know, delivered her.

Well on saturday we went to a friends wedding and of course I was the only sober person in the entire place! It was fun watching all the drunks though. Brandon had so much fun...He even danced! And he is not the kind of person to dance. He is finishing Hazel's room this week and as soon as hes done I will put up pictures. I am so proud of her room, we have worked really hard on it. All I need is the changing table. But its currently out of stock! Ugh...And here is a pic from saturday night dancing :)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Doctor's Appointment :)

Im 35 weeks and 2 days. Just got back to the doctor and I am dialated to a 1! And i'm measuring 2 and a half weeks bigger. But my doctor is going out of town next week so she needs to stay in until then! Well, im asking her politely to just wait but she will come when she wants to. Im going to be a mommy pretty soon! Im so excited to meet my little girl :)

I found this onsie and i reaalllly want it for her :) So so cute